Sounds of Silence .....

I'm not really sure what brought me here but here I am.  It's not that I don't have anything to say... as anyone who reads this knows I ramble quite often.  Now I find myself feeling so overcome.  There is so much to say, but sadly, I just flounder and fail miserably.  Holiday time.  I'll blame 'it' on that since I'm at a loss as to what 'it' is. It's the strangest feeling .... like I've lost something... don't know what nor where to look.

I suppose I've been thinking.  And thinking.  Okay, so I've been reminiscing.  Full blown though I've been trying to keep busy, it's not working.  So I'm taking a chance and allowing myself some nostalgia, after all, it's inevitable.  My children are my life, always will be.  Raising four children on your own is a huge undertaking.  There wasn't anyone I could turn to and thank goodness I didn't expect anything from anyone. That would have certainly been a waste of time and we would have been sorely disappointed.  So, I just did it and as the children grew, we worked together as a unit. My little ones were hard workers and knew the importance of working together.  That was one of our 'things' we always knew, so long as we stuck together, worked together we'd be okay.  And we were.  Yes, I'm pretty sure we were.  I'm glad for that.

I didn't think about it at the time since I was too busy.  I look back now and wonder how I did all that - reason being, I just did.  No, not as a pat on the back, look at me and how great I am kind of way.... so forget that image.  I have a hard enough time allowing myself any credit for pretty much anything.  

I've enjoyed watching them grow and learn.  Even though I was with them nearly all the time, it seemed never enough.  I was so afraid I'd miss something.  I did my best not to butt into their lives and really feel I did a fairly good job of it.  A bit of guidance goes a long way.  I'm proud of them... so incredibly proud.

It does help to hash things out.  I guess what's happening may be this; since there is very little for me to do as way of making their holiday special like when they were little .....surprises... Christmas eve & morning.....Santa.... 'it' might be stirring this up. I'm okay, I'll just go with it - that's what I do so well.  

"Tidings of Comfort & Joy"

~ Peace & Blessings ~

As Ever, Miss Stormy